Don't argue. Don't feed the psychopathic beast.

The psychopath is gonna argue.  He's just gonna.  And you can't make him stop.  You can't.  So stop trying.

Here's a great article about arguing with a psychopath.  http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21819/6-signs-youre-arguing-with-a-psychopath.html

So, don't. Don't argue.

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I have to "co-parent" with the NSP (Narcissist/Sociopath/Psychopath) that I unfortunately met, married, and had children with.  

Don't freak.  I love my children.  And I regret the fact that I ever made babies with their father.   Life is complicated.  Oh so very complicated when we involve a psychopath in our lives.

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Co-parenting with a psychopath.  Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha.  Right.

He puts obstacles in the way.  He diminishes me in the minds of our children.  He takes every opportunity to f$ck things up, especially when no one is looking.  But even when someone is looking, he'll still be an a$$. Why?

He is a psychopath.  Narcissist.  Personality disordered.   And he will not change.

I will not change either.  I'm a highly empathetic and straight forward person.  

I used to be a perfect target for a psychopath.  Not anymore.   I know how to deal.

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The NSP will argue.  That is fine.   I don't have to argue back.

There is no argument.  I say what I say.  He says what he says.  I cannot control him.  I cannot control anyone.  If he chooses to undermine me, he can.  If he chooses to diminish me, he can.   It's his right to do so.  Shocking, I know!   This is the man I chose to marry!  He was so awesome!  Snow job!

An attitude of "whatever" is very handy.  It's hard to be "whatever" about my kids, but, it's really the only option.

Other options include fighting with the NSP, which is highly unpleasant and a waste of time.  And, life is short.  So so so so short.  Why waste it arguing with a psycho?  Another option is to be worried and upset!  I can go on and on in my brain about it, what a huge narcissistic a$$ he is, but that is not healthy and a waste of time.  Did I mention that life is short?  So short!  I already wasted years and years of my short life living with him, suffering through a horrible marriage with him, and escaping him!  I don't wanna waste another minute on his mind stealing nonsense!

Let. It. Go.

Easy to say.  Hard to do, at first.   But, it comes easier with practice.

Today I feel like a champ.

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He set me up for failure and fight with my kids.

I didn't take the bait.

I said what needed to be said to the psychopath, in keeping with the "co-parenting" arrangement that we have.  Any outside observer can see that I have done my duty.  It is coherent, appropriate, concise.

There is nothing to

Work out.
Hash out.
Debate.
Negotiate.
Re-articulate.
Clarify.
Reiterate.
Justify.
Review.
Repeat.

You get it.

There is no circular argument to participate in.  He doesn't get to waste my time.  And he is going to do exactly what suits him.

His goal was probably just to yank our chains.  Drive a wedge between us.  Disappoint and upset.

And you know what?  He is capable of doing that.  He is interested in doing that.  And he does it all the time.

Oh well.  I can't control him.  And I don't try.

Is it disappointing?  Sure.  But I am so tired of being disappointed that I'm not even gonna go there.

Moving on.

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Much love.  Be well,

AKA Rose Lee Mitchell