It's been a handful of years since I left the NSP (Narcissist/Sociopath/Psychopath).
I have learned how to remove myself from engagement with him. It is particularly tricky to disengage when we share custody of our children.
I have learned in these many years that I do not need to communicate much at all with him. He will try to engage me, and I will feel compelled to communicate openly and thoroughly because that is how I am in life.
I have learned that the NSP will use any information he is given, any detail, to abuse contort malign confuse distort. The less information he has, the better off we are. We = me and my children.
I am not his only target. He targets my children too. He lies, contorts, pathologizes. How odd that I must share custody with such a monster, but I must.
People mostly do not understand.
People want to believe that a parent looks out for the best interest of his children. Not so with the NSP. It is all a game for power and control.
I use my self control and strategy to avoid the NSP.
Sometimes I am pulled under and into his game, and it feels horrible. It can feel like a new wave of old abuses. It can feel hopeless. But in moments of peace, like the moments I am having now, I remember that it has all turned out alright.
I am alright.
I cannot control the world. I am one person. I am not God. I cannot control the NSP or my children or my friends or my neighbors. Giving up control is one of the healthiest and peace producing techniques that I've got in my pocket.
It has been a handful of years since I left the NSP, and I can see that my technique of disengagement has got me what I want. I want peace. The NSP knows that I am unavailable for drama. There are always tests. But, nowadays, I pass with flying colors mostly. The result of good practice.
Do not engage.
AKA Rose Lee Mitchell