It's that magical time of year, again. The holidays. The time of year when the NSP (Narcissist/Sociopath/Psychopath) swings into full form. Oh, what a party. +sarcasm+
Just writing this gets my anxiety flowing.
It's been woe-too-many years since I have known the NSP. He didn't act psycho before we were married. The psycho-holiday act began after we had children. Joy. +sarcasm+
Psycho-Crazy Behavior During The Marriage
It took me a lot of years to identify the pattern. I mean, the crazy behavior wasn't only during the holiday season. It was a year-round festival of nonsense. It was just extra-super-crazy during the holidays. Pre-Thanksgiving/All-Of-December/Post-New-Year
The psycho-crazy husband insisted that it was My Fault. For a while I believed him. Believed him enough not to leave him. I thought maybe it was our circumstances. Maybe because our children were young. Maybe we'd learn how not to have such a drama-filled life. He told me it was My Fault.
I rose above it. I prevailed. Presents got purchased and wrapped. Trees got decorated. Parties were thrown. The children looked lovely.
It was the last Christmas that was THE LAST CHRISTMAS. It occurred to me one magical psycho-filled Christmas holiday morning that, hey, "My life had been good before the marriage, maybe, just maybe, my life could be good AFTER the marriage!" And thus, I began to plan my escape.
Psycho-Crazy Behavior During The Divorce
Well, yeah. Everyone assumes that a crazy man will act crazy during the divorce.
And, everyone assumes that the crazy man will calm down after the divorce.
His craziness persists. Like a chronic illness, it will not go away.
I've just gotten better at avoiding it.
THE HOW-TO: His Crazy Behavior and What To Do About It
See how it is All About Him? All About Managing HIM????
This is NOT NORMAL.
I am assuming that if you are reading this, you are already OUT of the relationship. If you are NOT, then Grant Yourself a Christmas Wish and Get Out ASAP.
He is crazy. He is an NSP. He is unmanageable. You have to deal with him on some level because you share custody of your precious children.
I have the most simple plan: IGNORE HIM. Ignore him like an Olympic Event. You are competing the Olympic Ignoring and You Will Win The GOLD.
The NSP is baiting me. Oh, he is working hard. I am doing NOTHING in response. He breaks our legal agreement in this way and that way. I am giving him ZERO response.
At first I was like, "What Is Happening? Why is he acting cray-cray?" OH YEAH, we are warming up to the Thanksgiving Holiday! Fabulous! +sarcasm+
Now we are firmly planted into December. It's cold outside and the fires inside are burning hot.
1. Wrap yo'self up in a blanket of un-responsiveness.
2. Toss a big bowl of ice water on his flames by saying and doing NOTHING.
I've actually never done this before. I like to think that I have evolved. I'm experienced and knowledgeable. This subject is an area of my expertise. Even so, I still have room to grow. Ignoring him entirely may starve the beast.
Why DO NOTHING?
...because ...DOING SOMETHING feeds him and costs me. I want to starve him. I want him to focus his psycho-efforts elsewhere. He has a WIFE. He can bug her! I want to spend my energy on My LIFE. I have spent too much of my energy on HIM.
I have written about this before: The Psychopath's Holiday Parade of Woe and Nonsense
No doubt I will write about it again.
- be well -
feel free to share your experiences
you can vent here - it's better than feeding the beast